The Wordsmith

1. So while the rest of the journalist community has been capturing the unveiling of the statue of Sarvajna yours truly and a friend have had the unique distinction of covering the unveiling (Sheeesh!! That’s such an oxymoron. As journalists we "cover" the unveiling :P) of Sarvajna's bum. Yeahh!! You read it right. We have extremely aesthetic shots of his bum and the skimpily clad dhoti covering it. Why? Well because there were so many other "propah" journalists covering it that we students were pushed to a corner and when you are a student with an assignment deadline to submit a story the next day even Sarvajna's backside makes an interesting story. :P

2. I LOVE ALL the lectures at college (with the exception of a series of lectures by the 'N' brothers - N.Ram, N.Ravi and N.Murali of Hindu. It’s amazing how they can be soooo like their newspapers. BORING and INSIPID!! Bah!!). We are supposed to listen to all the lectures and make an "informed" choice about what subjects we want to take as an elective. My problem is I want to take ALL the electives, which is surprising given that when I was doing my engineering I had trouble picking one coz all sounded equally uninteresting. I am not sure if I should take gender issues or environment issues or arts and culture or cinema or urban studies or sooooo many other electives being offered.

3. For the first time ever I cried during a lecture. I mean yeah lectures during engineering made me cry but in a totally different sense. The lecture on environment issues moved me so much that I just sat there on the second row silently shedding tears listening to the havoc which we humans have unleashed on the planet

4. I am perpetually busy, perennially rushed, always on the run and always breathless finishing some assignment or the other or covering some inane activity in some corner of the city and this long weekend (Yeah. we got both Saturday and Sunday off which is like a blessing) comes as a breath of fresh. Two days of laziness - here I come :)

5. Quite surprisingly I don't miss my life in "IT" AT ALL. I thought I would miss my former employer a teeny weensy bit but I don't. I dunno if it’s the lack of time or what but I don't miss one single aspect of that life. A part of me is glad coz I had heard horror stories about how people cannot go back to studies after two years of work but the transition in my case has been pretty smooth and I am extremely happy here but strangely I CAN'T believe that having spent two complete years in a place and having made so many memories I don't miss a single thing. I mean I SORELY miss college (all said and done I liked engineering for the four years I spent in hostel and the friends I made), I still wish I could go back to college but I just don’t miss the last two years. It’s as if they didn’t happen at all. And the best part - I don't even miss receiving a salary at the end of the month coz quite honestly I never knew what to do with all that money and now I am kind of glad I am again living a life of penury :P

6. I am glad that propah Tam-Brahm boys have enough sense nowadays to say No to journalists as wives :P. I am ecstatic because two prospective "alliances" got "rejected" when they learnt that I was going to be a journalist. "Journalist na yengalukku vendaam". In times of recession most boys apparently prefer a working woman drawing a five figure salary and not someone who is studying ughhh journalism. Yayyyy!! I love you guys and thank god I chose to study journalism now :).

7. When I told a not-so-near-but-still-forced-to-keep-in-touch relative that I was doing journalism she said "Journalism??" in pretty much the same tone that someone would say "Syphilis???", "Gonorrhea". :P. It was quite funny when she came to me and asked in a conspiratorial whisper "Have you lost your job?" and probably meant "Have you lost your mind". :D.

The more the number of people who look at me like I have some contagious disease just because I quit a decently paying job to join "Journalism" the surer I am that I have made the right decision! :)


8. Two good friends of mine broke up last week and it makes me question the fickleness of human relationships once again. I don't think I will ever understand relationships. I don't think I will ever understand why people would want to be in a relationship just to get hurt and come out saying "I am hurt but I am at least a wiser, better person". I don't think I ever will. Sighhhh!! H and M - *HUGS*

So the other day two of my friends and I were trudging along carrying a heavy camera rushing to catch the metro at light house after spending a capital time interviewing some hawkers on Marina beach about inconsequential things just to get a decent "story" (That's what journalism is all about by the way!! :P)

Carrying a huge camera bag in one hand and a tripod in the other I agree we were an uncommon sight on a busy road but the following comments by the kids on the street playing cricket were uncalled for :P

Kid 1(pointing to my tripod): Deiii paaruda, AK-47 (heyyy look, an AK-47)

Kid 2: Paatha Pakistani madri irrukanga!! Pakistani a irrupanga da (They look like Pakistanis. I am sure they are pakistanis)

Kid 1 (addressing me): Ayyayo neenga Pakistani a? Please yengla konnudadhanga. Andha bag la yenna bomb vechirukengla? (OMG!! Are you pakistanis? Please dont kill us!! What do u have in that bag? Bombs??)

Kid 3 (the smart kid): Ada chiii. Padam pidika vandhurkanga da! (They have just come to shoot a movie)

Do i look like a terrorist? Do i look like a Pakistani?

No!! wait. don't answer that question!! :-\

1. Wandering all over Chennai, carrying a 6 kg camera bag in search of "news", making and doctoring news when you dont find one, forcing and literally threatening the slum dwellers to lament about their woes is what the whole of last week has been about!!

Me: ungalukku yedhavdhu problems irruka? (Do u have any problems)

Slum Dwellers: Ilenga. yellam nalla dhaan irruku (No. Everything is fine)

Me: Ila. Yedhavdhu prachanai irrukum. yosichu sollunga (No!! You must have some problem. Please think and let me know)

SD: Moonu naala thanni varala!! (Oh well!! We havent had water for the past 3 days)

Me: Super. Adha pathi pesunga (Good. Talk about that)

And then make a story on how the slum dwellers struggle to get water and take their interviews and make it seem like an issue as important as terrorism/global warming and end it as "Along with S and P this is Wordsmith reporting for ACJ news"!! :D:D
I don't know if i am actually doing anything worthwhile but I sure am having fun in the process :-)

2. After class 6th this is the first time in life I am actually listening to class. I mean when you have classes on subjects like "The world of Cinema", "Srilankan issues", "Critical International issues", "Bay of Bengal communities", "Gender Issues" etc. you do tend to listen because for the first time in life i feel like i am actually studying something which is relevant to me and which will be of use to me later in life and I know that this is stuff which i NEED to know.
I have never felt this during engineering when i would study subjects like "Semi conductor physics and opto electronics" or "Probability and Queuing Theory" and wonder why the hell was I studying totally irrelevant and inconsequential things.

3. I feel horrendously stupid and painfully inadequate when I look at HOW much some people have read and how they can hold an intelligent conversation without staring stupidly into space after 10 mins like yours truly. I just realized there is so much out there to read, to know and that reading fiction DOES NOT help. But i can't read non fiction. Sighhhh. we have been given a mile long reading list and none of the books even remotely interest me but I am going to try.

4. I started off my reading "The Age of Kali" by William Dalrymple and I LOVE THE BOOK!! one of the best books i have read it is to india what maximum city by suketu mehta is to bombay. Lovely bit of writing and its amazing how a foreigner can write such an extensively researched book about india. Wow!!! I love the language and the simple style of writing. none of the lah-di-dah stuff for me Thank you very much
Do suggest some good non fiction books!! :)

5. For a campus which is supposed to be "Smoke free", "Alcohol Free" and "Drug Free" I have seen more alcohol and smoke and people in compromising positions in the past 3 weeks than I have in the past 23 years.
I am trying to be broad minded about it :)
Its a new experience and I am meeting all sorts of people and I realise that with age does come maturity. I look at the l'il 20 year olds all excited about being in a hostel one instant, then crying because they are homesick the next instant, jumping up and down in class to answer the questions or to ask questions or vying to be in the professor's good books and i feel like going "Awwwwwwwwwww" :D
But seriously for the first time in life i feel "Whoaaaa!! I AM mature" when I look at the crowd around me.

6. It feels great to be a student again in my favorite city. Not that i was unhappy when i was employed and heyy the money at the end of the month did feel good but it feels great to be irresponsible, be a student, be perenially broke, attend classes, cry about mess food, sit up till 3 in the morning chatting, running around finishing assignments etc..

7. Now that I am not earning I think its a huge advantage that I have friends who earn coz whenever we go out and I have eaten to my hearts fill and take my wallet out to pay they say "Nooo. You arent earning we will pay" and I just pretend to protest and pretend to pay. :P
Ahhh!! Unemployment is bliss if you leave hostel with 200 bucks and come back with the same amount :P
Shameless you think? Oh well sue me :P


8. My last post seems to have triggered quite a furore and would result in the partition of India into north and south india, I think. :P
I have had quite a number of friends calling me and advising me not to fly off the handle and asking me not to generalise and caling me "Racist" and "Really Racist". So much so that I was almost inclined to pull down the post and would have done so, if not for the supporter(s) (one) i had. Thanks Goofy :D
I agree that I have generalised quite a bit and have been irrational at times and have stereotyped northies quite a bit (though not without reason i personally feel :P - Here I go again :P) but i just had to get it off my chest.

So today was my last day at Cognizant. I went to the main office, submitted my id cards, got my relieving letter and experience certificate. Whoever named it relieving letter named it rightly i think. I felt strangely relieved, like a weight off my shoulders but felt suddenly vulnerable and alone at the same time. Mixed emotions actually. Maybe I got into such a comfort zone in Cognizant because honestly getting decently paid every month for moderately challenging work is everyone's dream. So i had gotten into a nice comfortable groove, doing little work, chatting, blogging, trekking and had become resistant to any of kind of change. though realising frequently that my heart wasnt in what i was doing. A strange case of Stockholm syndrome. Hmmm.

So today for the first time I came home at 1 on a weekday had a nice heavy lunch, went home, put on the AC (ok!! all ye proponents of global warming I dont do this often but if you are a software engineer you will know how precious it is to be able to sleep on a weekday afternoon and you want the moment to be perfect) and slept like nobody's business without a care in the world, without worrying about errant java code, about pending work and the faces of anally retentive bosses. I slept as an unemployed person but felt strangely remorseless about it :P:P

Went and saw the college/hostel in the evening and came back with my apprehensions multiplied by hundred times. I know I shouldnt judge people by the clothes they wear and their apperances but as I looked at the girls who looked like they took fashion tips from Kareena Kapoor and Paris Hilton and boys who who showed liberal amounts of skin(???) and undergarments, with loads of gel on their hair and attitude that would put Raghu of Roadies fame to shame I gulped twice and asked myself what i was getting myself into. With my jeans and dirty black shirt I looked like an alien from Mars.

I know I am being unnecessarily paranoid about inconsequential things but heyy this is my blog
:P

Anyway tomorrow my first day at college begins. Orientation. Wish me luck :-)

I love to crib

I am a woman after all. I love to crib at long about the food in the cafeteria, about my boss who cant comumunicate, about my on site co-ord who cant talk, about my life which is taking a course which i soooooooo dont want it to take, about the weather, about too few books to read, about having too many books to read. basically crib about anything that deserves to be spoken about

So maybe someone up there got super tired of my cribbing and decided to make a day in life sooooo perfect that even me, l'il old complain box, unsaisfied with everything except the keyboard - honestly if there is one thing which i truly like about my daily life its my keyboard. its beautiful. nahi sachi. lovely smooth keys, easy to type and in a perfect shape. I mean most people would get turned on by some member of the oppsoite sex (or rather some member of the same sex in cases. it is a free world after all) but i can get turned on every morning just by looking at my keyboard.

Anyway this post isnt about my keyboard. Its about how someone decided to please someone as unsatisfied like me by giving me a day - a complete day which was so perfect from the minute it started to the minute it ended that I was like "If i died right now it would be the best time to die because I would just die happy and contented without a care in the world, a worry in my head"


it was my 23rd birthday (finishing 23 actually. gosh i feel old!!) a couple of days back. Now I love birthdays. I dont know why but given that almost quarter my life is over i am still a sucker for a cake with candles on top a few people singing happy birthday and me blowing the candle and making a wish. It might seem childish to some but I know that the day I dont feel thrilled to see a cake with my name written on top of it that is the day I would probably really age in the true sense of the word

Anyway where was I? Yeah. 23rd birthday.

On the eve of my birthday a docile, l'il unsuspecting me went to bed early with a cold in my head, expecting the usual people to call at 12 to wish me and then crash again to face a looooong day in office attending them KTs

So I slept off at 10.30 after making three futile attempts to read a book and stay awake till 12. When you are holding a book by your favorite writer and yet the words swim before you, you are either drunk or goddamned sleepy. Obviously I was the latter (duh-huh!!) and so went to bed.

I was woken up at around 11.45 by a missed call from a friend followed by a message from her saying "Just wanted to check if your this was the number you were still using. Will call in 15 mins"

Arghhhh I swore and went back to bed.

In another 5 minutes my cousin woke me saying "Come to the hall and close your eyes".

"Whaa" i replied groggily

"Come" she said and dragged me out of bed putting blindfolding my eyes

"Huh" i said as i trudged along with her

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" approximately 70 voices (or so it seemed) screamed and I first saw J's face lit only by a candle (If you have seen J you will know that his face ummm..looks rather scary when lit by just a candle) holding a camera. HONESTLY i dont think I have ever seen him without his camera. I think he has seen and experienced most events in life only through his camera thereby missing out on the actual event. And the sad part is that unlike Sam who is an excellent photographer J is a rather errrr..ummm (what can i say without hurting l'il J's feelings :P) abstract photographer and it will take you some time to figure out exactly what it is that he has captured using his camera and most times you will be stumped till he actually mentions what he has taken himself. Aw le le le J, aw le le le le :D

Anyway I am digressing

So as I looked around I saw moti, F and H holding the yummiest cake ever with a candle on top
My hair kept bothering me and as i bruhsed it i realized it was Sam standing behind pulling it.

5 friends at 12 in the night of my birthday at my grandmothers place with my cousin as a willing accomplice to the whole plan!! Wow!!!

I dont think words in any language could actually do justice to what i felt that moment.

I dunno how many of you have jumped inside freezing waters
I dunno how many of you have actually held a totally new born baby in ur hands
I dunno how many of you have been to this ride in MGM (the name eludes me. A or M can you please help?) where the ride swings you so high that at one point you are completely hanging upside down, your blood rushes to your head, your arms ache with the pressure of your entire body on them and you cant even scream. the most thrilling ride i have been to.

if you have done any of the above you will know how it is like to be totally out of breath when your breath just leaves your lungs with a whooooooosh and you strive for balance and the whole world kinda swims before you.
Yes! I think thats pretty much how i felt that day and i was quite incapable of saying anything except eeeeeee for quite some time.

I cut the cake in a dazed state, ate it and fed it to everyone (while J continued to take pictures and more pictures in different angles of the cake and us. What ultimately did come out in the pictures was a part of Sam's helmet, a part of F's dupatta, a part of H's face etc and many such equally errr aesthetically pleasing pictures :P)

And then came the gifts

First was my virus free laptop (This is a very profound statement. Right from the summer of 2006 since when I have been having my laptop there never has been a time w hen it has been free of viruses. from the deadliest trojans to brontok, to many harmless worms my laptop had seen it all. No anti viruses worked and 95% of the applications didt work. About a week back i decided that enough was enough and gave it to J to clean it up. Now J is also a geek whose idea of fun involves coding at 12 in the night and he did a thorough and complete job of killing and eating then bugs :P)

Then came THE book. THE book which I have been meaning to buy for ages. THE book whose price i had negotiated in a number of shops, THE book which I have been wanting to read ever since I read one part of it a couple of years back. The BAAP of all funny books.
OK thats enough build up. I got the complete hitchhikers guide the the galaxy - unabridged edition by Douglas Adams

If happiness were pink chaddis I would have been Pramod Muthalik that day
If happiness were silicon I would be errrr Silicon Valley today (hah!! you so expected me to say Pamela Anderson didnt you?:P)
If happiness were false promises I would have been the Indian politicians that day
If happiness were websites I would have been google that day (This geek analogy is for u J :P)
If happiness were food I would have been H that day
If happiness were tripod + camera lens + paneer pav bhaji in sangeetha I would have been sam that day
If happiness were chocolates and lazing around I would have been Moti that day
If happiness were nutty butter scotch with caramel sauce in baskin robbers I would have been F that day

And then we sat and talked for 2 solid hours most of which was spent making of J while he tried his best to a few decent pictures, while F tried her best to irritate J by repeatedly calling hiim baby names (All of us joined her soon. If you know J then 'plizz to send one baby msg to him' like "cooochie cooo", "abloo babloo" etc. He lovves it ya!! :P). just talking meaninglessly :)

After they left at 2.30 I couldnt sleep till 6.30 the next day when I had to get up to go to office. It was as if the molecules in my body were in such an excited state that it took them quite some time to get back to normal state and sleep seemed impossible now. I kept thinking about the cake, their faces, the gifts, the crazy banter for two hours in the middle of the night,aimlessly pulling J's leg while his only reaction was a nod of his head
and a smile.

It was so surreal, so magical, so exciting that it was almost too good to be true.

There are times when I wonder if I really did deserve such an excellent surprise or such amazing friends like these and the words of my favorite song "Edelweiss" from Sound of music ring in my ears
"In my youth or my childhood I must have done something gooooood" to actually deserve all that I got on my birthday

J, Moti, F,Sam and H - I LOVE YOU GUYS :)
You are the besteststststst!!! :-)

Psssst J, inspite of your pathetic photography skills, pathetic defense to most of our barbs, pathetic grasp of things I think you are THE nicest babloo that ever walked this planet. Thanks so much for the collage of my pajamas, H's stubble, S' hand, Moti's hair and F's dupatta and oh yeah the cake too!! LOVED IT :):)

1. On a totally selfish note if there is one good thing which has come out of all these racist attacks by Australians on Indians it is the fact that i can now confidently reject "alliances" from Australia saying "Sheeesh!! Amma would u rather have an unmarried daughter who is safe or a married daughter who has acid thrown on her face" :P or something like that.

2. I dont think I will ever get over my morbid fear of traveling alone in closed elevators. The minute the elevator doors close I dunno why but it feels like I am trapped in a dungeon and suddenly the opening of the dungeon is closing and it will be opened only after millions and millions of years by which time i would be fossil. The old elevators where you could see outside and see each floor didnt rankle me much but these ones give me the creeps. Brrr

3. Talking of elevators yesterday I did an audacious thing. I got into a elevator and just as the doors were about to shut a person who i totally loathe entered it. Now i totally totally loathe this guy for several reasons one of the main ones being trying to get fresh with a good friend of mine.
I didnt react and pretended like i didnt know him. So this was the conversation between us

LG (Loser guy): Heyyy!! You are from ABC aren't u (ABC being the name of a club to which i belong to. LG also was in the same club once and as luck would have it works in the same office as mine. Sheer misfortune. Sighhh)

Me: (putting on the dumbest stupidest expression I could manage): Eh?? ABC? Sorry?

LG: heyy!! Don't you remember that time when the whole group went out to Tada? You and your friend F had come?

Me: (desperately trying to hide my id card so he wouldnt see my name) I am sorry. I think you have the wrong person. I dont know any ABC

and i fled outta the elevator and called F and had a good laugh!! Since F was the one he hit on she was thrilled with my "acting dumb" with LG!! ;)

4. Despite having nonsensical KT sessions every evening from 6-7, one good thing is the fact that the conference room where I sit has there HUGE french windows which face the west and hence you can see the sunset and i have seem some Beautiful, Awe inspiring, Breath Taking sunsets in the past 2 weeks. The vibrant colors, the hues, the clouds, the sky AWESOME all of them. So much better than sitting and listening to something which makes no sense to you!! :-\

5. Finished reading Jeffery Archer's 'Paths of Glory' on Saturday and John Grisham's 'Associate' on Sunday. Two of my favorite writers for the amazing plots they weave. Just awesome. Archer has DEFINITELY written better stuff but I kind of liked Paths of Glory because its about a man who wants to climb the Everest (much like Yours Truly!! Ahem!! :P) and Associate is much like all other Grisham novels with some insight on the kind of life which law school grads and lawyers in general in the US lead. Nice time pass both books :).
Been trying to acquire Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh (Fallen in love with his writings after Hungry Tide and Glass Palace) but finances are extremely poor this month what with the deluge of birthdays. Why oh Why are Amitav Ghosh's books priced at 600 bucks? :-\
Hmmmm. And anyway I have a lot of books which I have bought but still haven't read (Catch 22 and Fyodor I promise you are next on my to read list :P)

6. I find the 140 characters rule in Twitter irritating. I usually have so much more than 140 words to say and being restricted to just 140 seems cruel. More often than not I cross the word limit and only half my tweet is posted. And the worst part is twitter in office doesn't show me the number of character so i just keep typing. For eg. The other day I had tweeted saying "I do not envy the job of security guards in office. Imagine having a job where you have to stare at everyone's chest every morning to see if they have id cards around their neck or not" and the tweet stopped with the word chest and I had everyone asking me what the hell it was that i meant by that tweet!! Gah!! :-\

Ok!!!
I am terribly terribly bored and for a change I have NO repeat NO work AT ALL. After being released from my previous project where eyebrows would be raised if you left at 6.30 (and if you didnt have eyebrows you would raise your entire self and stare stupidly at the person leaving at 7) where I had strict deadlines and where every day was full of defects and bugs and other such inconsequential things I have suddenly been put in a project where i have NO work. And they are KILLING me with KT (Knowledge Transition for the uninformed) sessions

I for one have NEVER been able to understand the need/ use of KT sessions. I originally thought KT stood for Kill the Trainee because ideally thats what is done throughout the "session".

You are locked into a room and bombarded with totally and ABSOLUTELY useless information 99.9999% of which you will NEVER use and the 0.0001% when you will use it, you will actually be doing a reverse KT or in other words vomiting stuff which was vomitted AT you (Ewwwwwww!!)

I mean WHAT is the point. exactly 20 seconds after the KT session I dont remember what was said having happily whiled away time looking out of the window or laughing at the accent of the onsite guy who being Mandairin of origin cant speak English to save his life (The other day at a KT session he said "So..ummmm...when you..ahhh seee...aaaaa..surprise mark...errr..you...hmmmm will know thaaaaaat its ummmm full of errrrrors" and i was like surprise mark?? whoa?? whats that. turns out he was talking about our good ol' exclamation mark!! LOL) and generally trying to supress a yawn and doodle in my notepad. No sir!! Not the way to listen to a KT at all. The whole concept boggles my mind. Not only do they gimme KT but they also bombard me with document after document to read and raise questions during KT. Bah!! The only question that has been raised by me till now is "Is it over?" at the fag end of the KT. Sighhhh

"They dont have candles here man" said L to me on the phone

"No candles? What kind of a shop is it that doesnt..."

"Chil!! I mean they dont have birthday candles. Just the ordinary candles and the number candles and they dont have the numbers 2 and 3"

"Oh well what DO they have"

"Hmm. They have 0. yeah. and 5"

"Ahhh!! Get 0. Given F's 0 IQ and 0 level of maturity and 0 malice in her heart ideally 0 oughta be the right number"

"Heh Sure" said L and hung up.

Its soooo easy to make someone happy. Sooo easy. Soo easy to make someone's birthday a little special. You dont need event "management" skills, you dont need big plans, you dont need money, you dont need candles, hell!! you dont even need a birthday cake. All you need is a huge group of friends who havent met for a long time to go the office of the person whose birthday it is and totally totally surprise her.

I dont think I will forget the expression on F's face till the day i die when she saw the whole group casually waiting to have lunch with like it was THE most natural thing in the world to do.

I dont think the cake which we bought really mattered to her. And Oh yeah!! she did blow the "0" candle (she didnt even ask why 0. Sheeeesh!!) and she did cut the cake and all that but frankly cake or no cake I dont think it really made a difference to her. She was just so glad to see us. (Welll!! This does seem like we were a bunch of super humans or incarnate of God who had come to earth just to have lunch with F the way i keep going she was thrilled to see us but honestly she was :P)

It just feels so great to surprise a really good and totally sweet friend

Happy Birthday F. You are without doubt the nicest and sweetest person I have ever met and u deserved the little surprise we planned for you (I maaaaybe a tad too late with this post but hey its the thought which matters right!! :))

Its been 3 days since my grandmother came back home and I have still not spoken a word to her. No sir!! Not a word!!

Our only means of communication are the wild gestures which my grandmother makes. if she swings her hand in circles above her head and points to a room I am to understand that she wants me to switch off the fan in a particular room. If she turns her fist in a clockwise direction it means i need to switch off the gas, if its anticlockwise it means I need to put it to sim. If she points a hand to her mouth and shakes her fist it means she is asking me if I am hungry, if she point to her head and then to the main door it means she is asking me to wear a cap and go out of the house because its very hot, if she makes a C around her eyes it means she wants me to fetch her glasses and so on and so forth

Before you guys start imagining that she is suffering from some severe disease which has rendered her speechless let me hasten to reassure you that the only disease she is suffering from is chronic talking on the phone caused due to abstaining from talking on the phone for 40 days.

Now my grandmother, the youngest of the 9 siblings of the NI family is THE hub of information of the family. Any kind of information, gossip, news which any member of the 1000 member family wants to know, they know the one person to contact. My grandmother.

The way she keeps tracks of birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, births etc is just astounding. Its a standard joke at home that had she been born 40 years later she would have been in one of those IIMs for the kind of analytical and management skills that she possesses, not to mention her shakuntala devi like mathematical skills wherein she can multiply 2 four digit numbers in her mind and give us the answer in under 30 seconds :O:O

So basically because of not having access to her main office (her house here in Chennai at which at any given point of time she will be seen talking to some random relative) for a month she had missed out on a lot of important family stuff and once she came to Chennai her behavior was not unlike a Somalian kid which has not been fed for 40 days and is suddenly let into a room full of world famous delicacies and the lady who started talking 3 days back has not yet stopped.

Right from the Cheenu mama who is celebrating his 80th birthday, to Lakshmi Maami whose grand daughter is marrying a *GASP* Nair to Babu who lost his job to Meera whose husband has been diagnosed with cancer there is a dizzying amount of information about my family which is right now being processed in my grandmothers head and being stored in different locations in her medulla oblongata. The very scope of the whole thing leaves me breathless. 10 children who in turn gave birth to a minimum of 4 children who in turn married and continued the process of giving birth and generally supplying the world with more of the NI clan, which now makes the NI family a formidable family with a whooping 1000 odd relatives spanning across 4 generations and 5 continents, the hub of information being not yahoo groups, not google groups but a frail old lady about 4 and a half feet high cradling a phone between her ear and shoulder in Adyar Chennai.

So basically for the past three days when she has been so much on the phone catching up with and filling in people that we have still not had a chance to talk about her trip, my mom, my home town and such and I have a feeling I will have to learn sign language if I have to understand her.
Sample this.

The other day I got up in the morning to find her talking to someone (not unusual). I causually picked up my paper, my mug of horlicks and was browsing through the paper when I suddenly saw her gesturing wildly. (not unusual)

Paati (gesturing): moving hands violently in circles, points to her clothes, points to the balcony while nodding her head furiously apparenlty acknoledging the person on the other end (I for one have never been able to understand how the other person would see her vigorous and earnest nodding but she doesnt agree)

Me (thinking): Maybe she wants me to take the clothes in the balcony from the clothes line because its windy

Proceeding to take the clothes (wet) from the clothes line and wondering why paati wanted me to take them off when there is no wind

Suddenly she gestures even more wildly and I stand there with a witless expression on my face while she continues to move her hands wildly. I proceed to take off all the clothes from the clothes line quickly thinking she is irked by my lethargic pace.

Suddenly she asks the person to hold (very very unusual) and says "Yenna di pandra" (what are you doing?)

"Nee yenna paati solla try pandra?" (What are you saying paati?)

"Ayyoo. Nimadhiya phone pesa vida maata. yenna pandra?" (you wont let me talk on the phone in peace. What are you doing?)

"Nee dhaane paati rhombha kaathu adikardhu so clothes balcony lendhu eduthuru nu sonna?" (Well, you asked me to take the clothes off the clothes line coz it was windy)

"Ayyyo, na washing machine lendhu clothes edukka sonnen. Kadavule" (I asked you to take the clothes from the washing machine in the balcony)

*looking extremely sheepish*

"Seri seri. nee phone pesu."

So everyday from now till all the give and take of information from the hub has been done is going to be the same and to make matters worse we have two phones at home and more often than not I see paati running between one phone and another playing her role of a hub to a T.
I am not sure when I will be able to talk to her in next so I am doing the next best thing. I come to office and call her while I am having breakfast and talk to her for about 15 minutes ON THE PHONE.

Yesterday this school friend of mine (from the one school where i
spent the maximum time - 3 years of schooling) messaged me and said
"Heyyy, how come you write about college, work, family but never about
school. It would be fun for all of us to read about school"

And it set me thinking about school (the 6 schools that i have studied
in till 12th) and a wave of nostalgia swept over me!!

This post is a result of that!! Quite a long and mostly boring post
but just felt like writing it! :-)

Life was so much simpler when we were kids.

Ironical isnt it? When i was a kid the ONLY thing i wanted to do was
to grow up as soon as possible and whenever someone asked me what it
was that i aspired to be i would say "I want to be big jaldi se".

But as you grow you realise you were much better off when you were 10
years old, going to school, going to siwmming classes, music classes,
dance classes and tennis classes, playing with friends, homework

when life was soooooooo busy and so full that you didnt have time to
think and were so tired at night that you slept the deepest and most
peaceful sleep and slept off the moment your head hit the pillow or
dozed off in front of the TV itself and had no recollection of appa
gently lifting you and putting you on your bed

When being the star player of the school kabaddi team was the only
thing that mattered to you

When you HONESTLY didnt know what was wrong in pulling down a girl's
skirt accidentally while passionately playing kabaddi (errr...maybe i
shouldnt have used the word passionately)

When you thought boys were icky creatures whose noses ran (oh!! mine
did too but at least they did so daintily), whose shirts were dirty
and socks smelly, whose favorite pastime was to pull the pigtails of
the class girls, whose laugh ressembled the noise which is produced
when you shake a hundred stones in a tin box. BASICALLY ewwww

When getting a 'Very good' on a term paper from a favorite teacher was
ALMOST equivalent to winning the nobel prize. who am i kidding?? it
WAS winning the nobel prize and you smiled and grinned till your jaws
ached

When you sat in recess with four close friends and giggled and *giggle
giggle* 'dekh dekh uski ek ribbon choti hai, ek ribbon badi hai' 'pata
hai usko sirf 16 out of 20 mila test mein' qualified as high quality,
most sought after gossip

When you thought getting up in the middle of class and raising issues
like "Miss, she is take outing my pencil" or "Miss she is put outing
the fan" qualified as speaking oxford certified english

When you had not more than 5-6 dresses besides your school uniform and
you never really cared about how you looked and what you wore

When being friends meant doing "katti" to each other at least 20 times
a day and yet talking to each other in class the very next day and you
made friends as easily as u made trouble in school, when the concept
of best friend was alien to you and every one who came to play with
you in the evening qualified as friend

When saturday meant half day in school, wearing a color dress,
attending art class and messing around with the paints

When the most exciting day of the week of Sunday because you were
allowed to get up a little late, because that was the ONE day when
around 20 kids would gather in the central park and play treasure
hunt, leaving clues, marking direction and confusing the other team
and shrieking like banshees when the treasure was found, because of
the weekly visit to the library to explore a whole world of enid
blyton, agatha christies, richard cromptons, archies, tintins,
asterix, because of the ice cream which we would have after dinner..

And then BOOM!!!

Adolescence hit you like the Hurricane Rita and with a face full of
acne, a mouth full of braces and loads of fat on your self you
suddenly developed inhibitions and a bashfulness alien to you.

Suddenly you only went to swimming classes in special "ladies timings"

Suddenly playing kabaddi and getting yourself dirty were "uncool" things to do

Suddenly the boys didnt seem that icky and you found yourself
uncomfortable in their presence and things like soiling their white
shirts by shaking yoru fountain pen and tying their shoelaces together
in the morning prayer didnt hold much charm.

Suddenly you threw away all champaks and tinkles but started reading
Nancy Drewwwww and Hardy *uvaaack* Boys and everyone who read those
were considered cool!!

Suddenly you found yourself confused troubled angry and egoistic all
at the same time

Suddenly you stopped telling your mother about that girl who pinched
you, the boy who pulled your pigtails and from a person who spoke
incessantly you became a silent quiet and morose person

Suddenly you hated your parents because they didnt let you stay out
after 9 in the night, because they worried about your dropping grades,
because they refused to buy you the 999 rupees jeans saying it was
atrocious waste of money since you d outgrow it in just 6 months

Suddenly you cried for silly things like a good friend not talking to
you for 4 hours.

Suddenly your wardrobe (errrr the one shelf in the cuoboard which was
generously given to you) seemed highly malnourished and you thought
your sister had more clothes than you did

Suddenly you started being choosy about your friends not hanging
around with everyone but a select few

Suddenly, RIGHT in front of your blackhead prone nose life just
changed without asking for your persmission without wondering if you
would be able to handle it.

It was an unwelcome change and you tried hard to come to terms with
it. As soon as you did and were able to handle it you were sent to
college!!

Whoooosh!!!
College!! Freedom!! Hostel!! Friends!! Fun!!
It opened a pandora's box of opportunities.
But that deserves a separate post in itself me thinks!! :)

So one of my school friends err acquaintances errr sowrn enemy rather is getting married on a reality show or rather trying to find a partner on a reality show!! :-O :-O
I mean I have never heard of anything THIS ridiculous in ages!!! I never credited her with much intelligence but this is heights!!!
How can you choose your life partner in front of 2 billion people??
How can you showcase your "life partner preferences" and the "kind of guy/girl" to the whole country???
How can you portray your desperation to the entire country??
and finally HOW CAN YOU MARRY SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN CONSIDERED BY EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE COUNTRY AS A PROSPECTIVE LIFE PARTNER!!! Jeeeeeeeeez!!!

Reality shows for singing - ok - showcases talent
Reality shows for dancing - fine
Reality shows for losing weight - errrr
but Reality shows for finding your "soul mate" - HEIGHTS!!!

oh BTW here is the article
http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/wedding-planner/465366/

I am sleepy, I am tired and I am in a terribly terribly crabby mood today.
I cant believe I stayed up till 12 yesterday to watch THAT (you know what I am talking about) match
I cant believe that after CSK finished batting I called my friend and said "I think KKR will be all out at 90 man. Wanna bet?" and placed a LOUSY bet
I CANT believe Dhoni played L Balaji in the death overs
OMG!!! I CANT BELIEVE CSK LOST TO KKR of all the teams in the goddamned IPL
*sob*
They are my favorite team. If ever I had a baby I think I would love it as much (or maybe a leeeetle less) as I love CSK. And errr..ummm I dont think mothers would like their babies to lose to teh worst in the race (Not that KKR is worst mind you but definitely the unluckiest and I cant believe their luck worked on the day of their match against us)

And if you like cricket as much as I do you will not go "Hawwww. Chiiiiii" when I tell you that my eyes became just a teensy weensy bit moist after Hodge hit a four off that last ball and Chennai lost, but you will probably sympathize with me and tell me how your throat also got constricted and how you were also overcome by emotion.

Ice Cream for two people in Baskin Robbins costs 195 friggin bucks. Jeeeeeeeeez!! Thats the price of one wodehouse book, 2 RK Narayan's books, one nice top, four days lunch....Sighhh!!! I am never going to that place again. NEVER
How much ever F tempts me with the "Nutty ButterScotch with hot caramel sauce on top", how much ever I have an ice cream craving, how much ever money I have in my purse (Hell!! next time I have money and see Baskin Robbins Adyar I think I will just walk another 100 steps and go to Odyssey and buy some books!!)
I am not stepping inside another Baskin Robbins.
Bloody Baskin "ROBBERS"!!

Reclining on a couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon after a good(and heavy) lunch with a couple of Archie comics in hand (Sighh!! Yeah!! I still read Archies, Tinkle, Tintin, Asterix and Enid Blyton!! :rolling eyes:), the sambhar and potato slowly work their spell and sleep overcomes you, the book slips and falls down and your eyelids droop heavy with sleep, your mouth slightly open and in this state there is nothing in this world which would induce you to leave that state of inertia and move  your posterior (except of course chocolate ice cream, chennai super kings match or date with george clooeny in that order)
You are in heaven!! Ahhh Bliss
And then suddenly "Kuch khaas hai hum sabhi mein...." your phone rings jarring your senses. You are very very rudely shaken out of your state of inertia and you frantically try to locate the source of the infernal sound while cursing under your breath. You look at the caller id and find that the caller is one pesky aunt or rather an aunt who is normally ok but is decidedly pesky when she calls you at 1 in the afternoon on a sunday. But duty beckons and relatives' calls ought not to be cut and you pick it up making it a point to sound groggy and sleepy.

You : 'Lo
PA(Pesky Aunt):Ayyayo. You were sleeping? Did i wake you up?? I am soooo sorry.
You: Errr. 'ats ok chitti. what 'appened?
PA: Well.. Are u listening
Me: Mm hmm
PA: Amma told me that she has started looking for you
Me: Whaaaa??!!!
PA: There is this nice boy who has done his MS and is working in Texas..

>>> Inspite of people on TV screaming "Agar Aap vote nahi kar rahe ho to aap so rahe ho (Kiske saath?? :P)" and newspapers calling me a Pappu (a person from the upper middle class who doesnt vote) and a lot of other unflattering names I am not voting this time.
I dont have a voters id card. I tried registering on jaago re and being a good citizen, but though they send me loads of useless messages and mails I have still not been able to figure out how they will help me vote and have still not received a voters id card.
Gujarat state refused to accept me as its domicile because i hadnt done my 11th and 12th there
Tamil Nadu state refused to accpet me as it domicile because I hadnt done my 10th here

1. Sarcasm is NOT taken the way you want it to be taken by some people. Especially if you are a girl being sarcastic is a complete No No. (what a gender biased world this is)

2. Just because people dont say anything to you when you talk to them flippantly DOES NOT mean they dont mind. They are bitching about you to another person while you naively or rather vainly think they enjoy and appreciate your sense of humor.

3. Dont talk too much. Its ALWAYS a bane!! Now I talk at the rate of 1000 wpm and can talk talk talk and still not get bored. legend has it that I even talk when I am sleeping. Most of the times though there is no need to talk I talk pointlessly, endlessly, aimlessly, relentlessly. This doesnt go down well with most people so curbing my tongue (this IS going to be tough) is on my to do list

4. Not everyone is a friend. Dont talk to everyone the way you would talk to a good friend. Really good friends would let your gibberish pass knowing you dont mean most of what you say and were born with only half a brain. Not so with not so good friends with whom u run the risk of them taking offence to what you say.

5. 50% of the people you know will misunderstand you, 40% wont even try to understand you (they couldnt care less), 5% will make an effort but give up and only 5% will actually understand you. Treasure the last 5%.

I am going to change. Not phenomenally but slowly and steadily. Will keep you guys (errrr..the 4 people who read this blog) posted!! :-)

1. Yesterday I said 'SHIT' to my on site coordinator while talking to him on phone. Now though I swear quite a little bit this was the first instance where I swore at a superior at work (the fact that i have ALWAYS wanted to swear, scream and shout at them for their incompetency and curse them for sitting at on site without knowing how to read basic english is not the point here. The point is I generally dont use foul language when I am talking to someone professionally. ahem!!!)
So this was the conversation between DOC (Dumb Onsite Coordinator) and me

DOC: So please make the following changes and send it in the next build.
Me: But the same scenario occurs in 7 other tables in the DB
DOC: yeah? Really?
Me: (thinking): errrr. ideally you are supposed to be the DB guy, analysing reuiqrements and all that. YOU are supposed to know.
Me: yeah
DOC: So make the changes in those 7 tables also
Me: SHIT!!!
DOC:...... (speechless)
DOC: Errr. what
Me: Show... Could you please show me how I need to go about doing these changes?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Subverse/Travels-to-myself/articleshow/4500464.cms

After watching Chennai super kings win two consecutive matches, after
an excellent 5 days spent roaming all over lower tamilnadu, after 5
days of eating good food, after 5 days of spending good quality time
with good friends I am on a high.
And after coming to office on a monday morning, after watching a
vijaykanth movie (mariyadai) on the bus journey back home, after
puking my entire lunch after watching the movie and after checking my
mails and learning that saturday is working because of "business
exgiency" I am on an all time low!! Sighh

I mean why do they have to play Vijaykanth movies on the bus?
and the movie had not one but two Vijaykanths. Sighhh
Everyone in the movie looked so humongous that at any given point of
time it was not possible to the one actor's face fully on screen
I mean meena occupied one and a half screens, meera jasmine occupied
one, dear ol' captain liberally occupied two and the last scene was a
cinematographic miracle when two Vijakanths's, meera jasmine, meena
and Ambika were all shown on one screen.
I was fine till they started playing the movie and then i started
getting nauseous and though it was because of the AC i would like to
think it was because of the movie. Hmmmm

I have decided. I am going to marry a farmer in Kanyakumari, own a
cashew farm and live happily ever after. I visited Kanyakumari,
Nagercoil, Thiruchendur, Tirunelveli, Paabanaasam, Coutrallam,
Udankudi and I like all these places better than Chennai in terms of
weather. Such beautiful lush green fields, virgin waterfalls, lovely
rivers and streams and such nice people. I just didnt feel like coming
back

Every time i see mountains or something which remotely ressembles a
mountain i do not look at its natural beauty but I only think of
climbing it or guessing how tall it would be and how tough the climb
would be. Such primate like behavior from my side must be curbed if I
have any hopes of becoming human.

There is no other better way to spend a weekend than aimlessly
driving, randomly talking, endlessly eating, helplessly laughing and
stupidly grinning at pictures. And if it is with a couple of your best
friends it is bliss. Though a small (very small) part of me wishes I
had gone on a trip to Kodaikanal with a trekking club a HUGE (very
huge) part of me would not trade the weekend for anything in this
world. This weekend reminded me of the pondicherry chidambaram
pichavaram trip last year where we just got onto the first bus out of
Chennai to Pondicherry and had a capital time not having an agenda or
a plan. Ahhh!! Wanderlust!! :)

Its amazing how all mothers and grandmothers are just the same. I mean
you can have any kind of mother or grandmother. tall, thin, short,
fat, stout, dark, fair but the ONE thing common to them all is their
absolute obsession with feeding their kids. When i go home my mother
enters the kitchen the day i enter home and leaves it the day i leave.
Nothing gives her more pleasure than pottering around in the kitchen,
cooking for an entire family, extended family, friends, friends of
children, friends of friends..basically everyone.
Sighhh!! I want to go home!! :(

So the Super Kings clash with the Deccan Chargers today!! Go super kings!! :)

Kya karte rehte ho dilli dilli
Chennai ko dekh ke bhaag rahe ho, jaise kutte ko dekh ke billi

and going Ha ha ha ha ha for good measure.

They of course had the last laugh after 20 overs replying

Chennai Super Kings bade shaan se rakha hai naam
Bermuda bhi tumse accha khelti hai, ho gaye badnaam!!

Sighhhhh!! Naak katwa di Chennai ne!! :-|

And Harsha Bhogle WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU??
I liked you. I always thought u looked dignified, spoke sense, had a lot of cricketing knowledge despite not being a player.
Now with your new..ummm. what could i call it without hurting your feelings?
That mop of something black on your head isnt very becoming to say the least. Do us all and yourself a favor and go bald again please. Seriously it would give you much more credibility. Somehow you look so much like a clown with this new hair style i just dont feel like taking you seriously. I mean you look too much like Himesh Reshammiya for me to do anything but laugh when u come on screen.

The cost of an Aloo Parantha (or several doxen given the way S and R ate like they had last seen food when Dev Anand was actually young - i mean not proclaiming that he was young but you know ACTUALLY young. That long back) is a nice looking black color sports watch!! :(
I left it on the table and forgot to pick it up later after the aloo parantha eating binge.
So if you frequent this place called Treat in Adyar and if you see some waiter wearing a black color sports watch catch hold of his collar and say "Kutte!!! Agar Maa ka doodh peeya hai to Wordsmith ki ghadi waapas de de."
Ok!! You dont really have to go till cussing his mother. Just tell him you will go personally and spit on all tables in the hotel if he doesnt give u back the watch. and please do it!! :P
Now a moot point is "Why did i leave the watch on the table"
Oh well. Murphy strikes again. I suddenly felt an itching sensation on the part of my wrist which lies under my watch and removed it to scratch with peace. and there. I lost my nice black watch and I am sporting a lady like titan watch which I dont fancy much!! Sighh

If you like reading humor please please pick up this writer called Erma Bombeck. She is a delightful writer. Simple language, everyday humor and adorable sarcasm. I have been struggling to finish Emma and catch 22 but i finished reading Bombeck's "If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits" in about 3 hours. i devoured it, to be precise.
I would rate her after PGW, Gerald durrell, James Herriott and Roald Dahl for humor writing. And though I might sound sexist it is refreshing to read such great humor from a woman. She is the female Dave Barry or Bill Cosby!! :)

Ok!! So thats enough nonsense spewed for today. Bus beckons, I shall leave and sighhh!! I am working tomorrow so expect a glum and depressing post!! :P

Right now I am trying to read three books at a time and not doing justice to any one of them.
Catch - 22 lies open, so does a collection of short stories by Fyodor Dostoevsky and Emma by Austen (which I have more or less given up on. No classics for me Thank you. Been reading Emma for 3 months now and successfully finished 22 pages).
Dostoevsky errrr. let me say is not for light reading. I mean I begged for it from R of mine who rather graciously "gifted" the book to me (He already had it, didnt like it and gave it me and signed it "To the creature, with loathing :-|.". Thanks R. someone ever told ya you are the politest person there ever was??)
I have been trying to read it slowly and I DO like it but it is soooo slow at times that it bores me.
Catch 22 again started off well, with a lot of promising humor but again it lost pace midway and now i find myself struggling to complete the book something which I have never done before.
But somehow I have this warm and nice feeling inside that I have so many books which I can fall back and nowadays that I am home alone I am having quite a capital time reading and reading without caring a damn about the time.
I dont think anything in this world could give me more pleasure than a good book after a great dinner!!

Great dinner reminds me that after reading my last post I had both S and R asking me if I would like to have Aloo Paranthas. And before I could go "Awwwwwww, you guys are the best" they were quick to remind me that I would be the one treating them for accompanying me to eat Aloo Paranthas.

R: Yaar. Aloo Parantha khane chalegi?
Me: Huh!! How did u know I have an Aloo Parantha craving
R: I can read minds
Me: My blog!! Sheeesh! Of course. Thanks man!! I would love to eat.
R: Cool!! Chal mujhe treat de de.
Me: Sighhhh

THANKS guys!! :-\

Tomorrow is a holiday (For now let me not think of the fact that we will be compensating by working Saturday). Just the fact that tomorrow is not working is quite thrilling!! Yayyy!!

With my grandmother gone out of station for a month and me being alone every day I am having the problem of 'what-to-have-for-dinner' everyday. My cooking skills being nil, my grandmother's in my cooking skills being nil (she has actually locked the kitchen and gone so i dont try my 'culinary' skills in there), my liking for outside food being nil, and my appetite and love for food being infinite I have been wondering what to do for food and I have devised an ingenious method!! (Take a bow Wordsmith, Take a bow!! :))
For the past 3 days I have been having salads and raw vegetables!! Cool huh??
Thanks to A who told me about the time she would make salads to fill herself up I have been having one cucumber, one beetroot, one tomato and couple of lettuce leaves for dinner everyday garnished with salt, pepper lemon and this amazing salad dressing that i got called the 'Thousand Island' salad dressing. (Good stuff!!) and no!! I have been looking at myself in the mirror daily and I havent been turning into a goat because of eating all those leaves and veggies!! :P
And I must say I am loving it and feeling very good about myself because I am actually eating healthy stuff and if I am to believe the newspapers I will not get cancer, hypertension, glaucoma, trachoma, arterial blocks for another 50 years and neither will I age fast!! So yayyy!!
Mom of course is super thrilled and acting all smug and going "Hah!! When i asked you to eat these things 10 years back the faces you made would make the faces of accident victims look good and now you are being forced to eat them. Good Good. Good for health!!"

On a totally unrelated note I read this article somewhere which said people in England are fostering dogs and taking care of stray dogs because they were bored and I was like "Whaaaat?? what the hell. Save the human race first man. The dog race can save itself".
For crying out loud, There are children in Somalia and Uganda and Srilanka who die because of lack of food and proper nourishment and you want to foster and save the life of a DOG????
I mean the GDP of Uganda would be equal to the money these guys spend on buying biscuits for their dogs and preening their dogs!!
Leave a 4 month old baby on the streets and a four month old dog on the streets. Trust me the dog WILL survive and even if it doesnt i dont care. Truly I dont. I d rather kill 20 stray dogs and save the life of one child than have children elsewhere in the world die and foster dogs.
Now mind you I love dogs. Yeah they are good pets and fun to be with but frankly I d rather say I saved a human than say I saved a dog proudly.
Now you might argue that your not fostering dogs is not going to improve the situation in Uganda and Somalia and you might as well derive some pleasure while doing good.
fair enough. Do good but do some good for the human race first and THEN for the dog race!! Bah!!
You can completely disagree but this is just my opinion

Coming back to food I have this sudden craving for Aloo Parantha now. I mean proper Amma made Aloo parantha with a lot of ghee on the sides and a dollop of butter on the top and cold cold dahi and some mango pickle to go along with it!! Ahhhh!! Bliss!!
Sighhh!! I want aloo parantha RIGHT now!! Salad be damned. I am going out and eating aloo parantha today!! :P

Note to self: Maybe i should stop writing such silly posts!! :roll:

So after i wrote my last post I had a couple of people mailing me and
messaging me saying stuff like "Suicide is a crime. You always have a
choice, Take counselling" etc and I am pretty sure the only reason
they didnt call me was because they feared I would be dead already!!
:P

So yeah basically my last post was a sad morose and dull rigmarole on
this thing called my life and it kinda shocked the wits outta the few
people who read this blog.

Rest assured guys I am nowhere close to committing suicide, I have not
bought a sturdy looking rope and I am NOT looking at the fan
longingly. Neither have I bought that bottle of pills conveniently
named "Poison" in big capital letters which heroines in Hindi movies
look at longingly and more often than not consume when they realise
that they are "paalo-ing kisi aur ka paap" in their stomach, mortein
at home is ONLY being used to kill them rodents, knives and blades at
home are not lingering close to my wrist and actually I would be
surprised if the knives at home could even cut through vegetables let
alone human skin and a really thick one like mine at that.

So basically yeah back to normal after having been in a bleaaaah state
for quite some time. All thanks to A and M who gave me some good
advice mostly consisting of a lot of unparliamentary words and
clutching their heads and telling me "Woman!! decide what you want in
life" when I poured out my heart to them and saying profound things
like "This too shall pass" and sending me virtual hugs and sharing
their own experiences and asking me to just hang in there (errr..hang
as in not hang to death but hang as in you know just keep my cool) and
telling me time and again that I am special (guys!! did u really mean
it or were u just u know gassing to cheer me up?? :P or maybe u meant
special in a totally different sense!! :P Whatever)

Thanks a lot guys. I owe you one!! :)

Sometimes i feel glad that at least the closest circle of friends that
I have who know me inside out are sensible and though they will listen
patiently to how i would love to get lost in the forest and become a
cave woman and how I am going to take all my life savings and just go
to the Himalayas and become a monk they will also be the first people
to gimme a tight slap or send me a stern mail and ask me to come back
to earth and face reality and help me do so.

You dont choose your family. That just happens but yes, you DO have
the choice of choosing your friends and I am mighty glad that though I
may have screwed up a lot of times in life, done a lot of things which
i regret and hurt a lot of people and done a lot of wrong things at
least the one thing which i did right was choosing my friends.
Ok!! So this post is becoming entirely too senti for my taste. Thanks
A and M for being stupid enough to befriend me.

So yeah cry as much as u like for I am back. A little wiser but
loonier than ever. This time I am here to stay!! :)

So for a couple of days, weeks rather it has been the same old shit at home just the days being different. Suddenly i realize that i am tired. Tired of having to defend myself, tired of having to prove to people who should know me well that i am not doing any nefarious activities or "inviting" trouble, tired of having to portray an image of what i am NOT to complete strangers, tired of returning home from work daily to a house whose inmates look at me with worry/suspicion/anger/disgust/pity, basically everything except a normal and friendly smile or meaningless banter. Never before have i looked forward to meaningless banter more. I try and talk to people to whom i can say anything without being judged or talk anything without being misunderstood or talk aimlessly on mundane topics.

Maybe it helps me forget reality and go to a place of temporary comfort, maybe i am cheating myself, maybe i am running away from my troubles, maybe I am tired of people's pitiful glances, worried expressions and their "effort" to understand me. Frankly i would rather not be understood at all. That is such a heavy word. "Understand". Does everyone even understand themselves to actually go about understanding others? I dont know.

I wish I could just laugh and push my troubles to the morrow
I wish I could just sleep in peace without having to worry about who I am hurting by my actions
I wish I could just sleep daily and not cry myself to sleep daily
I wish people wouldn't take me on a guilt trip everyday, day after day...
I wish I could be 18 again and be in college where my biggest worry was the exams and most important need was food
I wish I was a teenager again when my biggest fear was public speaking and the most sleepless night was the night before my last exam before the much awaited summer holidays
I wish I had never grown up
I wish I could just wake up tommorrow to find out that the past month has only been a nightmare and things are actually the way i want them to be
I wish I was mature enough to understand relationships and marriage and understand that everyone, EVERYONE does it and most of them are pretty happy about it
I wish I wasn't so confused all the time
I wish I knew what I wanted from life and how to go about achieving it
I wish I could just fly and go to the Himalayas and spend the rest of my life trekking and leading the life of a nomad without caring two hoots about "society"
I wish I was a better daughter, sister, friend - a better human being
I wish I wasn't such a bitch and one striving for perfection to be one at that!! :-|
I wish I had fallen in love so I would know what it is like think about one person ALL the time
I wish I had fallen in love so I would NOT be going through what I am going through now
I wish people wouldn't judge me or have preconceived notions about me especially people who have known me for more than 2 decades.
I wish people wouldnt break my trust or at least give me a warning when they do so
I wish I loved to cry so I wouldnt feel bad for doing it so frequently
I wish I could get back my sense of humor which seems to have deserted me at a time when i need it most
I wish I wouldnt write such sad posts!!

Aaaaaaaah!!!

I wish I would quit wishing for things which will never happen!!